BBBA: MF Week 1

As we saw in the last episode of Berenstain Bears Bare All: Modern Family, Sister Bear was tempted to join the In-Crowd in their seemingly harmless fun. In addition to blaring 80's hip-hop from giant boom-boxes and wearing obscenely cute headbands, the In-Crowd liked to climb tall buildings illegally and push pumpkins off the edge. They also indulged in full-fat gallons of organic milk, which could only result in a pile of vomit at the end of the evening.

There were girls in the In-Crowd. There were boys in the In-Crowd. Sister Bear was interested in the boys. One boy, in particular. His name was Gerald. Gerald was a real hottie in his rolled up jeans and his ironic sweater vests. Gerald was a man who knew what he wanted and usually got it. Sister Bear got gotten.

Eight months later her overalls busted, and Mama Bear got suspicious. Mama Bear knew that she had already taught her children about the dangers of junk food, and so eliminated the possibility of sudden obesity. Mama and Papa Bear started constructing a crib. Brother Bear helped when he could. He bragged about how he would never get a girl pregnant. He also bragged about his new friend, Greg-- a semi-famous yoga instructor, beefed up on 'roids, who was in night school at a local college to get his urban taxidermy license.

Brother was determined to be the better of the two children at the end of this book and was allowed to select one piece of junk food from the treasure chest Mama Bear kept in her closet.

The End.