Dear Speaker,

Dear Graduation Speaker at AppState's Ceremony,
Thanks for reminding me of what a little snot I used to be in high school. Your high-horse speech inspired me to keep my pair of goody-two-shoes in that dark closet where I've buried them, somewhere behind my honors cords and my purple pleather letter jacket. No one likes a haughty turd. No one. I now understand my social predicaments in a clearer light.

B